Life Update: Spring Resest and Work/Creative Balance

When I was a little girl, the beginning of Spring was my least favorite season. As an adult and a mother, I can't say I've changed my mind. However, I’ve recently noticed that my negative perception of Spring has been starting my entire year off on a bad foot. It's actually a big deal.

Thankfully, I broke my toxic creative writing cycle this week. Here’s how I did it and a few other things that are going on in my life.

Spring Mindset Reset

Why do I dislike Spring? First, let me confirm that I'm talking about early Spring. The period where the aesthetic starts off muddy and gross. There are no beautiful buds and flowers except for some scarce early bloomers that blow away with April wind storms. The weather has no idea what the frick it wants to do: 40 degrees and rain, 80 degrees and sunny, 30 degrees with snow, all in the same week.

Next, it's pure chaos. I talked a little bit about this in my March Life Update, but now, I'm in the thick of it. Baseball started, which is just as unpredictable because it's 'good weather permitted.' Spring musicals and music concerts are on the schedule. Everyone who was holding off on winter birthday parties are now rushing to pick a weekend. Communions and baptisms are scattered throughout the month. Those are just the things I can remember! 

It's no surprise that with all this chaos, I experienced a little breakdown in my work and creative energy. I mean, a breakdown where I hid all the creative books I had just bought (The Artist's Way and Big Magic) and told myself I was stupid for trying and wasting my time. I let that last a day and then remembered: Yep, I’ve been here before. Time to change.

One of the best tools that I’ve been using to embrace the beauty and possibilities of Spring is my Soul Care Planner. I know, the year has started, but I’d still recommend getting one! I can’t say enough amazing things about this book. There are tons of places to plan and dream and reflect on what is going on, plus guidance on how to spiritually connect with the season through Astrology and pagan ways of thinking.

I’ve had years of negative thinking during this season so it’s going to take some practice to break away for good. This is not the only breakdown that is coming. After all, I'm my own worst enemy. But so far, it's the shortest. That's a start!

Work/Creative Balance 

Okay, this battle is ongoing, but it was super relevant to me this week. I’ve talked before about the toxic creating writing cycle I go through as a mom. It basically starts with a huge dream and ends in me doubting my abilities to profit off my own efforts and then settling for gigs that don’t fulfill or elevate my career. Not fun.

This definitely happened last week. I had an amazing day creatively and a beautiful solar eclipse experience with my kiddos. I started reading The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, planning to implement it into my life. And then, something happened that made me panic about money. Naturally, I dropped everything.

I was so angry at myself for thinking I could do this. Why did I think I could build a profitable, creative life? I made a cup of coffee and started filling out tons of applications for jobs. Most I knew I didn’t have the time or ability to take. Others I knew wouldn’t pay enough to make it worth it. 

But then something changed–I put my foot down and regrouped. I made another cup of coffee and pulled out some tarot cards. I wrote in my Soul Care Planner and decided to take a chance.

I switched to working on my website and social accounts and writing again and I realized I was further in this journey than ever before. I got 6 new subscribers last week and have far more traffic to my blog. I was accepted into a new affiliate program. I received my first brand partnership. I got a few random messages from people about my website and poetry. Plus, the day ended with my partner bringing home roses and my favorite bottle of wine. 

This was an amazing example of cycle breaking. Usually these feelings would last weeks, months, the rest of the year. I beat it in a day. I’m back on track and I’m so proud of myself. How did I do it? I just didn’t accept it this time. I clung to every positive thing that happened in that 24 hour period. It worked. 

I found that a work/creative balance is necessary right now until I am financially stable enough to dive completely into my creative endeavors. I worked on something for myself, then finished a paid article. I wrote some poetry on my Freewrite Traveler, then filled out a freelance writing application for another gig. This way, I avoided the guilt of working on my own things and kept the momentum going to ease financial worry.

That’s all for now dreamers,

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